your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
