Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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