Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
