Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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