can u get pink eye on your cock?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
