im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
