i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
