Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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