please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Randomize
