I cannot find my penis.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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