More tranny stories later!
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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