hell yes lets make some ravioli
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
