the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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