wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
