sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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