White coat. Heels.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
