high people should be assigned attendants
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
