ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
And then he peed in my hair
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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