if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
im drinking this country out of the recession.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
