don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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