I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
