We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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