Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Did I show you my penis last night?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize