Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
