so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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