I wanna passion pit in your ass
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
