Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
