the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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