Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
