At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The air was thick with penises
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
