How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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