I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize