About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize