Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
