The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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