You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
