new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize