i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Drake has all the answers
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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