how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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