You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
