you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I love you. Go after that dick
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
