Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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