I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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