I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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