yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
