Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I skipped work to stalk him.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
