I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I love you. Go after that dick
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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