Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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