I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
high people should be assigned attendants
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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