a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize