We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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