they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
