love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
