I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
