I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You ate ashes out of my bong
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
