1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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