...so i touched it.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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