I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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