brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize