PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
