After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize