my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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