there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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