just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
