I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
