I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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