it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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