five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
