It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
