well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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