You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
