it wasn't lemon gatorade
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize