its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
he just fucked me for my cheese..
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
