would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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