He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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