Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
